When to live full time?

[Someone Else]

How did you know when to live full time? Was it at a life changing moment such as a geographical change? Was it at the start of a new job? Was it right after you came out? I'm sorta weirded out because I'm not 100% passable. My voice... yet I can blend into a crowd. I can even ride in an elevator with a construction worker. So I'm passing, I want to go for it. I'm afraid if I wait till I'm 100% ready the day will never come. I don't have many shirts that can hide my breasts anymore either. So... Well? I guess advise is welcome but I'm really in need of personal experience.

Thanks girls, and guys... and everyone in between. You've been wonderful to me.

[♥Muffin♥]

I basically just dressed androgynous (still do mostly) while out day to day because I figure it's easier and more believable to pass as a tomboy than possibly look like a guy in a dress or a guy in make-up. Too much can be ...too much? !
I found that as the body changes shape people pick up on that for gender triggers along with long hair soft skin etc. Your boobs and plump thighs have already brought the ma'ams and mrs by the sounds of it!!! Voice is a whole other world.. but if you try each day to cut those low notes then over time they will disappear, I guess I never really had a huge guy voice so *shrugs*.
I don't know when it happened I guess society decided for me by calling me miss and ma'am and wondering why I had a Mr on certain paper work or if I was Mr XXXXX's partner etc.
Diving into the deep end never sounded like a safe option.. slow and steady wins the race? You know what I mean!

[zoetrope]

'Full-time' for me was when I changed my name, but by that point that's all I needed to do. I'd been hand-wringing about it for a couple of years previous, all the while shifting my 'presentation' over towards 'femme', or whatever. I remember a friend of mine asking, tongue-in-cheek, 'so does this mean you're going to start wearing skirts now?'.

And, really, what is 100% passable? How do you measure it? Maybe people clock you as trans, but give you no hassle for it and use the right pronouns and all that jazz. Unless people are weird with you then you have no idea whether you 'pass' or not, really.

Anyway, a rule of thumb I used to try and go by was to ask myself 'how uncomfortable will this make me?'. If it would wind up making me feel significantly more uncomfortable than not doing it then I wouldn't do it. Maybe regroup instead, and have another shot when I felt stronger, if it was still an issue.

[Sam]

Just thinking, not advising... because it's personal. And as such everyone should find their own way and reasons.

Some people plan it into the last detail. Like... I'll move to Denver and be full time from there on! Others just let it happen on its own. I don't know which way is better... but I suspect by just letting it happen it's a whole lot less stressful.

I'm not full time. So to speak. But the only thing separating me from being full time is my name (and insisting on people to use it and the pronouns - and, as my language goes, pretty much the rest of the stuff, like verbs and all). Guess I'm one of those that just let it happen.

Like I said. Your "choice". I'd love to say you'll know when the time comes. But I suspect there really is no such thing. One day you'll just have to 'man up' and decide.

Then again, I'm weird. I think full-time is overrated. I just live by my sig and go along with the ride.

[lvuittonaddict]

I think now a days, college is where a lot of people find themselves as far as sex and gender identity.

Prior to going to uni, or college, I was making an effort to dress more femininely. I have carried purses and wore girls jeans since high school. But something still felt weird. At the time, I wasn't quite sure what it was, I was dealing with an eating disorder and self injury.... little did i know that it was my GID manifesting itself as my anorexia and self injury.

Going away to college was the best thing that happened to me. I got my first long term bf, and i was able to find myself. the first year i was still trying to fully recover from my ED and SI. as far as my "transitioning" went, i grew pretty stagnate. Spring 2009 was when i went full time; prior to HRT. looking back now, i am surprised that i thought i looked even remotely passable... lol. but yeah, i went to MAC to find my shades of makeup, i got my first pair of designer heels, and started eliminating the "boy" things left in my closet.

August 2009 told my parents that i was not gay, but i was trans. soon after i started seeing my GID therapist.... so yah...... my friends say that I have changed the most in the past year....i correct them and say the last 6months ^__^ . I still feel like i was stuck until January 2010

[Tracyohus]

How did you know when to live full time?

I will know it's time when it becomes no longer possible for me to "pass" as a male - even while wearing only gym clothes and no makeup.

[Misty]

How did you know when to live full time?

I will know it's time when it becomes no longer possible for me to "pass" as a male - even while wearing only gym clothes and no makeup.

I wouldn't go quite that far, but kind of along the same track. When I start getting gendered as female in t-shirt and jeans more often than male, it'll be time for me to start. That's assuming, of course, that I can wait that long. In the meantime, I'm with Sam on dressing androgynous and let people think what they will.

Yesterday I got "ma'amed" like 8 times by an inmate I was releasing, but I still get "sirred" way more often than I get "ma'amed". Not bad though, considering my hair's short and not in a femme style and no makeup or jewelry or anything though. I think the clothes kind of help though. It's a police uniform, but since women and men wear the same uniform, it turns out to be fairly androgynous, even though it's basically "guy clothes".

[♥Muffin♥]

This morning I went out looking like utter crap, no shower, bad hair etc etc ...I was shocking and I'm guessing that is why I got sired for the first time in months!!! I just ignored everything he said and he finally went away.
He was pretty much the first person I saw this morning, then the last person, another guy who was parked next to me in the car park almost walked into me and said "sorry darl!", as I jumped past him to get into my car asap.
The positives I'm clinging to are the fact that I agree I looked like shit and that being called both is so androgynous which is a good thing really I don't mind. I need to go out again this afternoon and I'm not going to shower or do anything.. meh. Actually I'm running late ..oops.

[Melodic_Mel]

I'm making plans, myself. However, much like the time that I, as a high school freshman, planned my schedule consisting of each course I wanted to take for the next four years, including the community college courses to take in the summers and on the side, considering how much I had to adjust those plans to my new reality, I fully expect to tweak my carefully laid plans as I go. This is my usual habit: I plan things to the last, most minor detail for the joy and reassurance of planning, then I proceed to act spontaneously according to my whims. I do intend to formulate my plans to include a built-in flexibility, such that the external and internal drives of change won't disturb the foundations of planning for such things as career security, insurance, etc.

[DYSSONANCE]

I went FT when I couldn't stand the idea of being a guy any longer.

It wasn't a rational decision, either -- at the time I went FT, I'd barely had any kind of laser, I passed about as a well as a pickup truck trying to be VW Beetle, and I was still at the point where my voice work had me sounding like minnie mouse on helium. I had jack for clothing, piss poor makeup skills, etc etc.

None of which are exaggerations.

I had started transition a year prior -- I was in deep part time mode -- guy mode for the most important stuff, the rest as a gal.

And one day I hit a wall. I had a complicated day ahead of me, where I needed to be in both modes. I set out the clothes the way I usually did -- boy on the right corner of the bed, girl on the left, and went to bed the night before.

THe next day I was paralyzed. I literally stayed in bed the whole day, unable to budge because I couldn't decide, could face the physical pain being in boy gave me and the stress being in gal gave me.

Next day I dressed as a girl and tossed all my boy clothes save for some I didn't have at the time (in storage) and I believe one suit in case I *had* to show up in court for my ex or something like that.

That was October 2007.

I had all my papers in order, and new boobs by the end of February 2008.

None of which really helps you, I realize, but it sets things up for my answer to your question:

When you need to do it for you and ONLY for you. All other concerns are bullshit (yes, even work).

I'm kinda tough that way, lol

[Someone Else]

I guess slow but sure is a good course. I was kinda leaning toward a geographical change. The people who know me will always see me as who I was in one way or another. I was thinking that maybe with a move that everyone would have the first impression of me as Eli and that is how they would see me. I swear I won't change my name again. I have the paperwork in front of me now and am filing Tuesday. Sorry off topic. Hair removal is not on the horizon at the moment and my voice isn't there yet. So I guess I'm sort of in the same boat as DYSSONANCE.

I blend in but only when wearing makeup. So at best I'm confused on what I need at this point. Of course I WANT to go full time. I still hear sir. I've also heard dear, hon and babe lately so... I dunno. I guess I'm at a point where my life needs to adjust to where my body is. If I don't wear makeup I look like a guy with breasts and if I do wear makeup I look like a friggin flat amazon. When you're 6'2" in flats there just doesn't seem to be an androgenous zone. I simply stick out in a crowd. Everyone is going to see me. Hell you can't miss me. I've dropped 2 sizes in the last 2 months and my guy shirts still don't fit anymore so I'm running out of shirts I can hide my breasts in. I'm popping out the front. I should be happy, I am, but I'm also confused since I've never been through this before. I've heard people here talk about a sport bra to help pass as a guy but I don't want to do that. I think I'd rather be trans. I've been trying to be a guy my whole life and I'm feeling like I'm done with it. Yea I guess at 6'2" you're trans instead of androgenous. Another reason I'm leaning toward geographical change. I want to live somewhere trans friendly.

Thanks! You dolls are the best.

[black birgid]

It was when it got hot out.
Hiding your tits is uncomfortable. It's hot.
I just took my bra off, now that I'm home.
It's hot. I don't want to touch my keyboard right now.
Everything is so hot.

{I got insultingly misgendered today for the first time in...two months of being full time.
Stupid voice. I know it was one word that did it. I really can't be in the company of men anymore because I spent so long picking up their bad habits, their lazy mouths. their euphamisms.}


Really, my decision to be full time was because it got hot
I can't believe men wear men's clothes in summer.
They're way too covered up and stuffy
So, if I'm going to have to wear little light clothes...
people are going to know I'm a girl.
So it was time to pull everything out of the closet and live.

I mean seriously -am I supposed to walk around all summer in baggy tee-shirts and pretend I'm not a girl?

That would be ridiculous.

[Someone Else]

I know the damn voice crap. Crack... Snap... crackle... gurgle.... then comes out the words from the chest again. OMG my voice sounds so good in my head but my voice recorder keeps telling me I need to keep up the hard work. If I don't have the recorder on me to check myself my voice drops drastically. I posted a vid on youtube and I'm horrified. That was after an hour of talking to my shrink who was polite enough not to mention that my voice was dropping. I actually thanked CandiFLA in the vid. I feel so bad because the plug isn't much of an endorsement and her pointers are really good. I totally understand about the annuncuation and projection. Only way I'll get better though is to just keep getting out there and doing it. I never go anywhere without the recorder anymore.

[Tracyohus]

No one is perfect... We all have something or another that we are still trying to resolve. I am fortunate to have always had a gender neutral vioce, bone structure and I am short. My curses are my weight, hair loss and this God awful facial hair. I can resolve my weight problem myself (and I am doing so) but the hair loss and facial hair requires professional help - and time - a long time - a very long time... Anyways, as I have taken weight off my body is even more feminine under all that fat than I remember it being before I got fat. So that is a real incentive to keep working that problem to resolution. My facial hair is about half way gone now - but still not enough to start living full time. I cannot go full time while I still need to allow my beard to grow out for a few days before my weekly electrolysis appointments. My scalp hair restoration is comming along well too - but still not enough to start living full time. When my hair is dry you can barely tell I have suffered hair loss - but when my hair is wet its obvious... Too obvious... This is why I still wear prosthetic hair for my weekend job - for which I do present myself as female.

I agree about living as gender neutral as possible for a while. I also dress very gender neutral and rarely wear makeup during the work week. This seems to be best from my experience thus far. People do assume whatever they want. And those experiences of everyday encounters with people out and about in the world serves as a great bench-mark for how well I am comming along in my transition. I do get ma'amed at least as often as I get sired while in gender neutral mode - but that is still not enough to queue me in that it is time to start living as female full time. I wish I could just start today - but as long as I can keep focused on my goals and "keep on keepin' on", I am O.K. with waiting for the right time.

[Misty]

When my hair is dry you can barely tell I have suffered hair loss - but when my hair is wet its obvious... Too obvious...

That's my problem too. When my hair is dry, it looks fine, but the other day, I was in a store that had security cameras, and TV's displaying what was on the camera, and I had product in my hair, and looked almost bald on top. AAAAUUUGH. That freaked me out.

I really need to get back on finasteride, but that stuff's so freakin' expensive. I'm really hoping to get prescribed the 5 mg stuff that's meant for enlarged prostates and might be covered by insurance.

[DYSSONANCE]

Hair loss.

*Mutter mutter curse grumble grumble bitch whine moan complain gripe rinse repeat*

And wouldn't ya know I'm in that freaking 3% of folks that nothing works for. GAH!

Ok, sorry for this brief moment of self flagellation, I now return you to your regularly scheduled sorta nice Dyss.

[elliebean]

Hair loss.

*Mutter mutter curse grumble grumble bitch whine moan complain gripe rinse repeat*

Right there with ya.

Started a thread here

[Tracyohus]

When my hair is dry you can barely tell I have suffered hair loss - but when my hair is wet its obvious... Too obvious...

That's my problem too. When my hair is dry, it looks fine, but...

If that is true, you would probably benefit a lot from using a laser comb. It's expensive, but you only have to buy it once and its good for 10 to 15 years. Lexington upgraded to a cordless version, so the original corded version costs less now while they are still available. A friend of mine bought hers through amazon.com. I've noticed that some clinics are still offering the original version at the original price, even though they have the new cordless version available. Personally, I would rather have the original version.

I really need to get back on finasteride, but that stuff's so freakin' expensive. I'm really hoping to get prescribed the 5 mg stuff that's meant for enlarged prostates and might be covered by insurance.

Many doctors will prescribe Proscar (5mg Finasteride) for this purpose. Most insurance will at the very least cover the cost of generic Proscar. Then all you need is a pill spliter to split the pill into four pieces... Combination therapy for hair restoration is a good idea that many dermatologists who specialize in hair restoration advocate. Using both the laser comb and Finasteride as directed for at least a year could give you great results - and your hair will probably look amazing too... Amazing in a good way...

[Lauren]

JFDI (Just do it). The sooner the better.

[Misty]

stuff

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I'm really hoping for a proscar prescription. As far as the laser comb, I doubt I can afford it right now, but just kicks and giggles I checked on Amazon and couldn't find a Lexington one. I saw Hairmax and Viatek brands, but not Lexington.

[Tracyohus]

...but just kicks and giggles I checked on Amazon and couldn't find a Lexington one. I saw Hairmax and Viatek brands, but not Lexington.

The HairMAX is the one made by Lexington.

[Misty]

...but just kicks and giggles I checked on Amazon and couldn't find a Lexington one. I saw Hairmax and Viatek brands, but not Lexington.

The HairMAX is the one made by Lexington.

Ugh...of course. The totally expensive one. Figures.

[Tracyohus]

The HairMAX is the one made by Lexington.

Ugh...of course. The totally expensive one. Figures.

Yeah I know, but the older corded version is still less expensive than the current cordless version. I know there are less expensive knock-offs available, but as far as I know none of the knock-offs have received FDA approval. Only the HairMAX has that. The manufacturers of the knock-offs advertize that the technology is "cleared by the FDA" - or something like that - but fail to mention that the clearance is not for the specific device they manufacturer. They are rather under-handed about it actually. Anyways the knock-offs might work just as well, but they might not... Who knows? When I bought mine a few years ago, it was a little over $500.00 and there were no less expensive knock-offs available at that time.

[Someone Else]

JFDI (Just do it). The sooner the better.

Yep, tried that. NOT ready yet.
Way too much shit goin on right now. I don't want to deal with JFDI. I'm mostly half/half lately. Cute shoes socks and my old guy shorts with a T-shirt. No makeup is better than with makeup for me now. Oddly makeup makes me look draggy and I look sorta girlie without it now. I dunno. I did get over the fear of living daily as a girl though. Even the way I dress now heads still snap when I open my mouth to talk. Guess I'm heading down the slow but sure trail.

[Misty]

JFDI (Just do it). The sooner the better.

Yep, tried that. NOT ready yet.
Way too much shit goin on right now. I don't want to deal with JFDI. I'm mostly half/half lately. Cute shoes socks and my old guy shorts with a T-shirt. No makeup is better than with makeup for me now. Oddly makeup makes me look draggy and I look sorta girlie without it now. I dunno. I did get over the fear of living daily as a girl though. Even the way I dress now heads still snap when I open my mouth to talk. Guess I'm heading down the slow but sure trail.

Yeah, gotta work on that voice. I'm not too far along, but just try softening it up a bit. Work on getting the vibrations out of your chest. It's amazing how much just that does. I've been speaking like that for awhile and it seems to make it easier to get in a higher range that doesn't sound squeaky when you use that voice all the time. Hell, even that without really trying to sound female has passed a few times.

[Tracyohus]

... (Just do it). The sooner the better.

This is just not realistically doable for many - if not most of us. A slow steady transition allows the time for others in our lives; family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and employers to grow with us. There is nothing wrong with that - and it's probably a lot healthier in the long run as compared to simply "jumping the fence". "Just do it!" could all too easily lead to heavy losses and/or outright disaster.

The issue with public restrooms is beginning to be a problem now however. Even though I dress completely gender neutral (no gender cues what so ever). I am sure many are running into the same problem.

[Lauren]

... (Just do it). The sooner the better.

This is just not realistically doable for many - if not most of us. A slow steady transition allows the time for others in our lives; family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and employers to grow with us. There is nothing wrong with that - and it's probably a lot healthier in the long run as compared to simply "jumping the fence". "Just do it!" could all too easily lead to heavy losses and/or outright disaster.

The issue with public restrooms is beginning to be a problem now however. Even though I dress completely gender neutral (no gender cues what so ever). I am sure many are running into the same problem.

The trouble is you end up in imminent danger of never transitioning. Best I think to set a date and work/stick to that. I did that. Basically when I moved to start uni. I was on no hormones for my first 3 months and lived full time and never looked back from that date. Sure it was what most would consider doing it the hard way and yes it was extremely difficult, but obviously it gets easier with time. I don't understand this, living in male role one day and female the next.

I don't understand the issue with using public toilets, or toilets in restaurants, pubs etc. As soon as I transitioned I just used the female loos and never really had an issue, I was certainly never challenged.

[Tracyohus]

The issue with public restrooms is beginning to be a problem now however. Even though I dress completely gender neutral (no gender cues what so ever). I am sure many are running into the same problem.

I don't understand the issue with using public toilets, or toilets in restaurants, pubs etc...

I suppose this would depend on where you live. Where I live it is a crime for a born male to use women’s public restrooms - regardless of how they present themselves. If you get caught, you can be arrested, charged, convicted then publicly registered as a sex offender. Its pretty serious. Too serious to take the risk. There has been very heavy effort by Bible thumper groups who are pushing to make it illegal all over the U.S. for M2F transgendered people to use women's public restrooms. This effort is specifically intended to harass M2F transgendered people... Anyways, even a minor conviction would cost me my job - and a conviction such as this would make it very difficult for me to find another job. So with that in the back of my mind I use men's public restrooms (unless a family or unisex restroom is available). Over the past few months I have been challenged for using men’s public restrooms several times. Fortunately in my area it is not a crime for a female to use men's public restrooms - but I have been lectured to about it by a park ranger on one occasion. The day before I posted this comment I was harassed by a mall cop about it. So now I make an extra effort to find the family and/or unisex public restrooms every where I go.

[Misty]

I have been lectured to about it by a park ranger on one occasion. The day before I posted this comment I was harassed by a mall cop about it. So now I make an extra effort to find the family and/or unisex public restrooms every where I go.

What did you tell them?

[DYSSONANCE]

I suppose this would depend on where you live. Where I live it is a crime for a born male to use women’s public restrooms - regardless of how they present themselves. If you get caught, you can be arrested, charged, convicted then publicly registered as a sex offender. Its pretty serious. Too serious to take the risk. There has been very heavy effort by Bible thumper groups who are pushing to make it illegal all over the U.S. for M2F transgendered people to use women's public restrooms. This effort is specifically intended to harass M2F transgendered people... Anyways, even a minor conviction would cost me my job - and a conviction such as this would make it very difficult for me to find another job. So with that in the back of my mind I use men's public restrooms (unless a family or unisex restroom is available). Over the past few months I have been challenged for using men’s public restrooms several times. Fortunately in my area it is not a crime for a female to use men's public restrooms - but I have been lectured to about it by a park ranger on one occasion. The day before I posted this comment I was harassed by a mall cop about it. So now I make an extra effort to find the family and/or unisex public restrooms every where I go.

Where is this?

Seriously -- this is the first time I've heard about such an ordinance, and we in Arizona have had cause to look into the laws regarding this in more than one situation, so I'm *very* curious, as that sort of thing should be a priority for several organizations.

[Tracyohus]

What did you tell them?

What would you say?

[Misty]

What did you tell them?

What would you say?

That's why I asked. I have absolutely no clue what I'd say.

[Tracyohus]

What would you say?

That's why I asked. I have absolutely no clue what I'd say.

Neither did I.

[DYSSONANCE]

Based on preliminary stuff, I'd tell them, politely, and with a smile, they must be mistaken, as there is no such thing, and they have heard wrong.

Then again, it also depends on the likelihood of the ranger (or cop) being an asswipe and hauling me in out of their own ignorance. As I prefer not to go to jail, I'd likely say "thank you." smile, and leave to find a Starbucks.

[Misty]

Based on preliminary stuff, I'd tell them, politely, and with a smile, they must be mistaken, as there is no such thing, and they have heard wrong.

Sorry, but I'm confused. There is no such thing as what. She went to the men's room and got told off because she looks like a girl using the men's room for some strange reason. She could tell him that he's mistaken and that she's technically a man, but who knows how the locals of wherever she was would react, let alone the ranger. As far as the "there's no such thing" though...

[lvuittonaddict]

gah, i remember having people tell me I was in the wrong restroom; opposite of most of the other posts....I would be in line to use the restroom and men would tell me, "you're in the wrong restroom", "the women's room is over there", "is this the mens room"...at the time, i was like "im a friggin boy!" It was extremely embarrassing. I dreaded having to pee in public. I had guys doing double takes, walking in and walking out to make sure it was the men's room. gah.....silly boys

This law that they are trying to pass, how do they think they will check to make sure people are in fact genetic men & women vs MtF or FtM? they cant search every single person walking into a restroom, and its illegal to profile, so simply stating "they look like a man"......sorry sweetie....if you think you're gonna strip search me, be ready for a lawsuit.

[Erica]

How did you know when to live full time? Was it at a life changing moment such as a geographical change?

In a way yes. I didn't move the planet did. I'd been on mones for over a year and my second summer of HRT was coming on fast. I live in TX. It's on the warm side here. I'd been successfully hiding under light jackets for the whole time but it was just getting absurd. One day I just took the jacket off. That's the day that full time became a reality. Then I had to work overtime to try and get a presentation together that sort of worked because I'd been putting it off forever. If you look at the photo I posted today, it's far from 100% probably not even 60%. The friend I was with had been snapping my picture every five minutes and every time she looked she wrinkled her nose and threw it away. She finally snapped that one and yelled out, "OMG you look just like a woman". Would have been so bad if we hadn't been in a crowded restaurant but oh well.

My point is if I can do it, you can to. If you are in a part of country where the necks are slightly more tan, then take sensible precautions but for the most part no one give a shit. So far the worst thing that's happened to me was a hick couple talking about me behind my back, like literally right behind me in a line. Oh and my neighbor felt she had to move away, f her. You're ready if you need to, or if you want to. If neither of those apply then no pressure.

[VincentM]

I decided to live full time when I was tired of how nothing was changing. I wanted something, I needed it, and I was the one who had to make sure it happened.

[Tracyohus]

As I prefer not to go to jail, I'd likely say "thank you." smile, and leave to find a Starbucks.

I wish I had thought of something like that...

Anyways, park rangers out here actually are full fledged cops. The reason the park ranger got involved was because this old geezer flagged him down and complained about me using the men's bathroom. Neither of these two had a single clue about me.

The mall cop on the other hand was being a total butt-wipe about it. I don't think mall cops are real cops anywhere - but I could be wrong.

She could tell him that he's mistaken and that she's technically a man, but...

When I am in situations where I am being accepted as a female, I cannot bring myself to "correct" whoever has accepted me as such.

I would be in line to use the restroom and men would tell me, "you're in the wrong restroom", "the women's room is over there", "is this the mens room"...

That used to happen to me all the time when I was your age.


Anyways, I've decided I will go 24/7 as soon as my facial hair removal and scalp hair restoration are complete.

[Someone Else]

Odd the restroom thing gets brought up. I was told, "Miss that is the men's room." As I walked in 3 days ago. Later that night though I was flagged like crazy. I dunno, maybe stubble. I've been pretty much full time for a week now. Sorta testing the waters. Sometimes I get a sir sometimes miss and sometimes a s... or m... then a confused look.

Now by full time I mean wearing the hair and clothing of my inner gender, no makeup. My voice is in real need of an overhaul but I'm workin on it. So this brings me to another question.

What does full time mean? Really... does it mean going all out, voice, makeup, hair, clothes. Or just clothes, or hair and clothes or maybe hair and makeup or makeup and voice?

I've looked at full time as woodworking and both terms being interchangable. Yet now I am thinking that hair and clothes do it for me. Anyway WTH does full time mean to you?

[Misty]

I've looked at full time as woodworking and both terms being interchangable. Yet now I am thinking that hair and clothes do it for me. Anyway WTH does full time mean to you?

Full time to me, means trying to present as a female. If you present as female with no makeup and just dressing and voice, then that's full time. Hell, if you're in a guy t-shirt and no makeup, but still presenting as female, that counts in my opinion too. Basically, my wife hardly ever wears makeup and often wears girls jeans and a guy's tee out and about. If she can do it and not be looked put down for it, then so can I and it still counts as full time in my eyes. I do want my voice to be passable though. It's a tough one to get down, but it's important to me, personally, but that's me.

If however, you're are going out in just girls clothes, and you get misgendered as male regularly, you have to try a bit harder, imo.

Basically, they set up these BS rules we have to follow, so interpret the rules as you see fit and have some fun with it. Probably want to dress up a bit for your doctor appointments though.

[Tracyohus]

What does full time mean? Really...

It means presenting yourself as female 24 hours a day seven days a week. I personally do not believe clothes and makeup matter so much. Especially makeup... As many of you have probably guessed, I am not a slave to makeup - and I refuse to become one. A little to highlight your natural beauty is O.K. - but I see no need for any more than that.

[ChloeB]

Never wait till you are 100% sure to go full time that day will likely never happen, go for it at 95%

Myself I set out a 4 year plan, which included starting my own buisness and moving house. In the UK they just dont give out Hormones like sweets. you do have to be living as your choosen gender for atleast 3/6 months.

My plan was to wait till I got to the GIC to go full time, but other health issues took longer to sort out than expected. The day I went full time I woke up and just could not face going outside as male. A month later I changed my name. And never looked back. That was nearly 2 years before I finally got on the hormones.


To the original poster :- Can I ask, when you started hormones all those months ago you must have had a plan ?? Whats changed ??

[elliebean]

I feel ridiculous and disgusting when my body and face are covered in hair/stubble. If not for that, I would have been full time for well over a year now. I don't care that much about passing. I mean I don't like it if I'm called out, but I'd take that over presenting as a man.

[Someone Else]

To the original poster :- Can I ask, when you started hormones all those months ago you must have had a plan ?? Whats changed ??

Well I actually didn't have a plan. I figured I'd start hormones and make sure it was for me. I had tons of issues with self acceptance. I self medicated for a while which helped my dysphoria then when I quit it came back in spades. Since having an endo my dysphoria has almost disappeared. I take my medication as prescribed without missing a dose. Well I missed one and took it in early AM instead of at bed time. So now my plan is to take the hormones as far as I can, work on my voice and build my confidence by "living" through my transition in my preferred gender presentation. I haven't really set goals though I do want to start electro ASAP. The stubble is what is causing me much dysphoria lately. I don't want "goals" because I am not in a race to fit into a box, and I feel like I am trying to be someone else when I do set a goal. So basically I have an end vision but no such thing as a formal goal.

Hmm what has changed? Self acceptance, decrease of dysphoric feelings, better mood, fewer relationships with family and friends, better relationships with the friends and family I have left. I learned to be honest and stand up for myself, I am more courageous and strong as a result. I am married and I get to be myself. I have breasts. So quite a bit has changed personally and some physically. I guess the biggest change is that I am starting to feel female. I dunno if that makes sense but it should to some I suppose. When I get depressed cause I look like a boy I just come out and say it now instead of being ashamed. Is that what you wanted to know?

[ChloeB]

Thank you someone, yes that did answer my question.

I found setting out a plan helped me through the tough times at hospital. But everyone has unique challenges when going through this, so no one way is either correct or right.

The biggest challenge for me was to finally say screw you lot I am going to be happy, If you dont like it you dont have to be around me. Well thats the forum version of what I used to say

If I could do one thing different it would have been that I started electro sooner, its a nightmare having to go into hiding for three days while I wait for the hair to grow long enough. How people do that if they are working a normal mon-fri job is beyond me.

Best wishes and hope the time comes soon for you

[VincentM]

My mother is a shrink, I spent most my childhood in hospitals with shrinks, so when I decided to go full time I spent a year reflecting about how I felt, what I wanted, where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do.... I did this so that no shrink could ever try to twist words or tell me how they think I feel just cause I wasn't sure enough.

If you can not tell yourself who you are, what you want, and where you want to be in the future, you won't be able to tell anyone.

[edit::: I was in those hospitals because I moved from North Dakota to Yokosuka Japan. I had bipolar, and was emotionally troubled. There was no mental illness that lead me to believe I had GID. Simply, I never asked to be female, never felt one, and it appalls me to have to be one.]

[almost2innocent]

For me, I never had to even bother changing. I was already dressing like a girl - just this time I wasn't apologising for it.

I mean, clothes actually fit me now. I'm not out to be seen - if anything, this is to help me conform, as I can't be a 'masculine man- and I am so much happier, but for some people it would be harder

Full time came very naturally to me, and if people don't refer to me as a she, I correct them, or just let it slide, because I couldn't give a shit about anyone thinks about me. I have to be more careful at night, I cry a WHOLE lot more than I used to. I eat a lot of chocolae, and I am more nurtuting, and I tend to want to help people and make things grow.

I can't really explain it. My outer self isn't amazing, it's not extraordinary, but it's who I am, and I get (99% of the time) a fantastic response.

As soon as I have a decent pair of tits, and the voice is sorted, I'll feel better, but it's more than hormones and clothes. I am actually a woman and I know that for a fact, and anyone that tells me otherwise, whether I'm wearing sweats or whatever, can go to hell. I didn't choose to be this way - and SRS is a big commitment.

No one from my past will recognise the new me. I look frail and pretty - and my longer hair can be put back, though i want extensions, though I think the idea of that is so bad it's good, lol.

I'm an active part of my female community, not my transgendered community, though I am going to be very active in how we're treated in mental institutions, as I can tell you now - I've been through hell to get here, and it's been worth it - but no sister or brother should feel so isolated, hated, and afraid.

Go for it full time ASAP when it's safe to. If you're in an area where there are people who will kill you for looking slightly different, then get the hell out of there, and just be who you are somewhere safe, which is what I had to do for a while - but now I'm full time every day. It takes no more time than it did when I was in boy mode - if not less time. Girls have a lot more accessories at hand than boys. And I enjoy the extra bits, and the extra layers.

And I do not want a relationship, or sex, so this is all for me - no one else. I do my charity work, and if all goes well, it's SRS on March 2011. Changed my name legally, and I'm called Miss L.. (I won't tell my real name on here, lol) but I've done so much in such short time.

Nothing is impossible. If I can give myself the best french manicure I've ever had on my nails, which I used to bite, while working in an orphanage and a law firm, working on changing laws for mentally ill people, and foreigners, using my talents in languages and music - I'm making waves.

Very happy.. This is how it should have been many years ago, but I wouldn't change a thing. It's brought me where i am now.

And doing FullTime ASAP is important if you want SRS.

Take care, and best of luck
Rachel

[almost2innocent]

For me, I never had to even bother changing. I was already dressing like a girl - just this time I wasn't apologising for it.

I mean, clothes actually fit me now. I'm not out to be seen - if anything, this is to help me conform, as I can't be a 'masculine man- and I am so much happier, but for some people it would be harder

Full time came very naturally to me, and if people don't refer to me as a she, I correct them, or just let it slide, because I couldn't give a shit about anyone thinks about me. I have to be more careful at night, I cry a WHOLE lot more than I used to. I eat a lot of chocolae, and I am more nurtuting, and I tend to want to help people and make things grow.

I can't really explain it. My outer self isn't amazing, it's not extraordinary, but it's who I am, and I get (99% of the time) a fantastic response.

As soon as I have a decent pair of tits, and the voice is sorted, I'll feel better, but it's more than hormones and clothes. I am actually a woman and I know that for a fact, and anyone that tells me otherwise, whether I'm wearing sweats or whatever, can go to hell. I didn't choose to be this way - and SRS is a big commitment.

No one from my past will recognise the new me. I look frail and pretty - and my longer hair can be put back, though i want extensions, though I think the idea of that is so bad it's good, lol.

I'm an active part of my female community, not my transgendered community, though I am going to be very active in how we're treated in mental institutions, as I can tell you now - I've been through hell to get here, and it's been worth it - but no sister or brother should feel so isolated, hated, and afraid.

Go for it full time ASAP when it's safe to. If you're in an area where there are people who will kill you for looking slightly different, then get the hell out of there, and just be who you are somewhere safe, which is what I had to do for a while - but now I'm full time every day. It takes no more time than it did when I was in boy mode - if not less time. Girls have a lot more accessories at hand than boys. And I enjoy the extra bits, and the extra layers.

And I do not want a relationship, or sex, so this is all for me - no one else. I do my charity work, and if all goes well, it's SRS on March 2011. Changed my name legally, and I'm called Miss L.. (I won't tell my real name on here, lol) but I've done so much in such short time.

Nothing is impossible. If I can give myself the best french manicure I've ever had on my nails, which I used to bite, while working in an orphanage and a law firm, working on changing laws for mentally ill people, and foreigners, using my talents in languages and music - I'm making waves.

Very happy.. This is how it should have been many years ago, but I wouldn't change a thing. It's brought me where i am now.

And doing FullTime ASAP is important if you want SRS.

Take care, and best of luck
Rachel

[Tracyohus]

Myself I set out a 4 year plan...

I do not have a time table. The time will come when I no longer need to shave and I have complete coverage on my scalp. When will that be??? I don't know. Two years from now? Three years from now? The waiting is the hardest part. But at this time I am reasonably sure that my scalp hair restoration will be complete before my facial hair removal is... I just cannot see how it is possible to go full time before facial hair removal is complete... Did I mention that the waiting is the hardest part? I get pretty antsy about it. I suppose that is why I'm babbling about it now when I should be in bed sleeping.